jokes.json

{
    "type": "success",
    "value": [
      {
        "id": 515,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 352,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 295,
        "joke": "The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 303,
        "joke": "Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 357,
        "joke": "The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 61,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 193,
        "joke": "Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 232,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 604,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 156,
        "joke": "There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 312,
        "joke": "Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 13,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.",
        "categories": [
          "explicit"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 488,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 506,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 249,
        "joke": "Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 226,
        "joke": ""Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 324,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 26,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 509,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 619,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 307,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 375,
        "joke": "After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 365,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 52,
        "joke": "When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 191,
        "joke": "The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 339,
        "joke": "Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 42,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 321,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 507,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 461,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 305,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 588,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 471,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 451,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 81,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 439,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 140,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 422,
        "joke": "Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 33,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 62,
        "joke": "Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 151,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 566,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 118,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 320,
        "joke": "The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 456,
        "joke": "All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 77,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris can divide by zero.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 256,
        "joke": "How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 472,
        "joke": "When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?".",
        "categories": [
          "nerdy"
        ]
      },
      {
        "id": 86,
        "joke": "Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."",
        "categories": []
      },
      {
        "id": 350,
        "joke": "Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.",
        "categories": []
      }
    ]
  }