Limit proxy's memory from TiFlash's side (#408)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #408

What is changed and how it works?

Issue Number: Close tiflash#9745

What's Changed:

Related changes

• PR to update pingcap/docs/pingcap/docs-cn:
• Need to cherry-pick to the release branch

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Release note

Fix an issue that TiFlash may unexpectedly reject raft message when memory usage is not high

[CalvinNeo]

/retest

[ti-chi-bot]

@yudongusa: adding LGTM is restricted to approvers and reviewers in OWNERS files.

In response to this:

Instructions for interacting with me using PR comments are available here. If you have questions or suggestions related to my behavior, please file an issue against the kubernetes-sigs/prow repository.

[ti-chi-bot]

[APPROVALNOTIFIER] This PR is NOT APPROVED

This pull-request has been approved by: yudongusa

The full list of commands accepted by this bot can be found here.

Needs approval from an approver in each of these files:

• HACKED_OWNERS

Approvers can indicate their approval by writing /approve in a comment
Approvers can cancel approval by writing /approve cancel in a comment